Ugh

It's always something.

Yesterday morning, I woke up in my new apartment. I sat up in my new bed, threw my housecoat on, and slid my legs off the side of the bed. As I began to stand, I fell back onto my bed, because the weight of my body caused an intense pain shooting from my hip down to my foot. Panicked, I tried again and again to stand, until I finally could.

For the rest of the day, the mysterious pain from my hip kept re-emerging. Often times, it would happen right after I'd been sitting down for a while. Other times, it happened out of nowhere, while standing. I even found myself stranded in the grocery store, unable to walk. Not even a limp was possible, but each time it came, it also found time to pass.

By last night, I'd began taking some medicine for the pain. I had a great night with Elena, Arnaud, and friends, but my hip continued to send me spurts of pain. After getting home, I immediately placed myself in bed, but I found myself so uncomfortable while sleeping, I just knew it would be there again in the morning. Sure enough, I found myself immobile in the morning, and only after some time was I able to walk again. I was beginning to panic a little. I knew it felt like a nerve, but the pain was more consistent, so I wasn't sure if I should contact PC about it.

Well today was a big Model UN workshop in Stip. Thankfully, I now live only 2 minutes from the bus station (as opposed to 15 from my old place), so I had no problem walking to the station. Soon after I got there, I felt the pain beginning in my hip again, and it spread across my side and butt. The pain shot down my leg to my foot, so I forced myself to sit. I suddenly realized I would not be able to attend the workshop in Stip. I didnt think I could walk to the bus, much less be able to walk off the bus. The pain began to spread across my lower region, and the next thing I knew, I was in tears.

To make a long story short, I probably embarrassed the hell out of myself at the station. I cried. A lot. PC told me to get to a pharmacy, so Lilika helped me get a cab, b/c I couldnt walk there. I spent about an hour talking with the doctor and the women, and after getting a lot of pain medicine, I got in another cab and went home. They said I have sciatica, which is just a fancy word for the extreme pain I'm having from a nerve, but we still dont know what is causing it. I've been having lower back pain for sometime now, so it could be something relating to a disc. But for now, I was told to just stay at home...to not do anything...and to just rest. So that's what I am doing.

Really, Im just frustrated with being stuck at home. Im so busy lately, and I like being busy. I hate that I cant go to dance practice tomorrow, or Zumba on Monday, or even begin my new ballet class on Monday night. I simply cant. And I HATE that. Last week, I had so many girls come to class...am I going to lose their interest if I miss a week?? My kids want me there...they want to work and dance..and I hate that Im being told to stay home. : ( I feel like I'm letting everyone down if I stay home, and I dont want to disappoint my kids.

If the pain is still bad by Monday, I'll probably go to Skopje for the doctor. I'm hoping it'll all go away in a couple of days though....I just dont have time for this problem. The one good thing about all of this, is that Im in the comfort of my new apartment, and THANK GOD for that!!